Quotations by Author

Jeph Jacques
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Showing quotations 1 to 12 of 12 total
There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content #1356, 03-10-09
Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content Comic, 08-21-05
You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content webcomic, #352, 05-04-05
The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content webcomic, #478, 10-27-05
'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content webcomic, #678, 08-02-06
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, #1615, March 2010
Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, 01-04-07
That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, 01-04-07
A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, 11-14-08
You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, 12-19-2011
Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, Give It Your All, 06-22-12
If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.
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Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, She's A Bit of A Pout, author's note, 08-31-11

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Showing quotations 1 to 12 of 12 total
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