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- I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
- Woody Allen (1935 - ), ???
- Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
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