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Quotations by Author

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

- More quotations on: [Death]

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Woody Allen

- More quotations on: [Atheism]

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

- More quotations on: [Dreams]

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen, My Speech to the Graduates

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen, The Standup Years

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Woody Allen, Without Feathers (1976)

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen, Without Feathers, 1976

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