Quotations by Author

Woody Allen (1935 - )
US movie actor, comedian, & director [more author details]
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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Woody Allen
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
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Woody Allen
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
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Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
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Woody Allen
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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Woody Allen
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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Woody Allen
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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Woody Allen
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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Woody Allen
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
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Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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Woody Allen, My Speech to the Graduates
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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Woody Allen, The Standup Years
Showing quotations 21 to 40 of 42 total.
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