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Quotations by Author
- The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
- Will Rogers
- The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
- Will Rogers
- The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
- Will Rogers
- There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
- Will Rogers
- There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers
- There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers
- There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.
- Will Rogers
- This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
- Will Rogers
- We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
- Will Rogers
- We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
- Will Rogers
- We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
- Will Rogers
- Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
- Will Rogers, 'Politics Getting Ready to Jell,' The Illiterate Digest, 1924
- There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.
- Will Rogers, Autobiography (1949) chapter 6
- The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
- Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Breaking into the Writing Game"
- The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes"
- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
- Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince"
- You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers, New York Times Aug. 31 1924
- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930
- You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
- Will Rogers, New York Times, Dec. 23, 1929
- Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
- Will Rogers, New York Times, Sept 30 1923
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