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Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
US comedian with Marx Brothers [more author details]

Showing quotations 1 to 20 of 22 total

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.: Groucho Marx
- More quotations on: [Children]
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.: Groucho Marx
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.: Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.: Groucho Marx
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Go, and never darken my towels again.: Groucho Marx
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.: Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.: Groucho Marx
- More quotations on: [Books] [Television]
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.: Groucho Marx
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.: Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.: Groucho Marx
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.: Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.: Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.: Groucho Marx
- More quotations on: [Music] [Justice]
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.: Groucho Marx
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My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.: Groucho Marx
- More quotations on: [Children]
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.: Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.: Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.: Groucho Marx
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.: Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.: Groucho Marx

Showing quotations 1 to 20 of 22 total

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