Quotations by Author

Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )
US writer and humorist [more author details]
Showing quotations 1 to 18 of 18 total
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Fran Lebowitz
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Fran Lebowitz
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Fran Lebowitz
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
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Fran Lebowitz
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
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Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
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Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Fran Lebowitz
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.
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Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
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Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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Fran Lebowitz
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Fran Lebowitz, Metropolitan Life, 1978
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies (1981)

- 17 Quotations in other collections
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Showing quotations 1 to 18 of 18 total
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