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- There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
- Woody Allen (1935 - ), "Without Feathers"
- Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
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