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- Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
- Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
- Woody Allen (1935 - )
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