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- In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing they were dead and in heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in hell.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 revolutions per minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
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