Quotations Weblog

I’m a Truth-Sayer, mostly because I have a hard enough time keeping reality straight in my head. I can’t add a pack of lies to the mix and have any hope of keeping things straight. Being a Truth-Sayer means that I accidentally offend people with what I say. I used to think this effect was a negative thing.

In this month’s O Magazine, there is an article about telling the truth. The author suggests asking yourself if it’s kind before you ask yourself if it’s true. I don’t have filters enough in my head to judge every word that I say, yet it made sense to me. Putting kindness above truth sounds like a noble thing.

If accidentally offending people is the negative effect of being a Truth-Sayer, earning a tight-knit group of friends that really love me is the benefit. I end up offending the kind of people who can’t have truth spouted at them often, so those kinds of people don’t end up in my group of confidants. I’ve always cursed my tongue that is unable to censor like others can; now it seems to be an asset.

This advice is so hard for me to follow, especially when I’m starting something new. I am a Lecture Monkey. I will spew a lecture at you like a gorilla will throw vomit at the zoo. Preventing myself from lecturing innocent victims is very difficult for me to control. There is only one way I have learned to avoid it.

I lecture in private. I write down all the things that I think I should have said to someone in my journal every day. Writing them down keeps them from escaping involuntarily from my lips the next time I see that person. When I am tempted to lecture, I think to myself, “I have to write that down later.”

Ironically, this has been the best thing in the world for me. The truth of the matter is the lecture has nothing to do with the innocent victim. No matter what they did to spur my instinct to give them advice, my advice has nothing to do with them. What I feel like I need to tell them so desperately has more to do with me and my life than with them.

I’ve found that it helps me to write down the lectures that I spared others the joy of receiving. The good advice that I was going to give them is usually something that I need to hear. I’ve found that taking a few quiet moments with the computer keys clicking under my fingers is far more beneficial to me than it could ever be to the intended focus of the lecture.

Next time you feel like you need to help someone along in this world with some “friendly” advice, try my technique. Take a few moments and write the lecture down. Reread it as if you were receiving the advice. It will probably help you out in the strangest of ways.

When I first saw this quotation, my instinct was to argue with it. The idea sounded like torture to me. That giddiness of initial love feels wonderful, but it’s tiring. Logic doesn’t apply during that time. I couldn’t think about anything but him. “What is he doing right now? Is he thinking about me? I wonder if I surprise him at lunch if he would like it? How much longer until he calls me today?” My productivity was abominable.

I prefer love that’s like a good cheese. It takes time to age a cheese to its delicious perfection. Cheese curds taste great as the squeak in my teeth, but they aren’t as sharp and enticing as their aged counterpart. Love is the same way. That infatuation at the beginning of a relationship is nothing compared to the feeling of love that has weathered storms.

Just because I don’t agree with the beginning of the quote, however, doesn’t mean it’s not true for others. It also doesn’t mean I don’t agree with the rest of the quote, “Being in love shows a person who he should be.” That part of the quotation is not only is the truth in my experience, it’s good advice.

During that first infatuation of love, my thoughts would always turn to my activities, “What would he think of this? Would he be proud of me? I should work harder. Would he think this was frivolous? Does he think I’m funny? I should learn how to be witty.” After remembering this, I DID work harder to be funny. I DID work harder at my job and school work. I constantly evaluated my actions in relation to what he might think about them and I’m a better person because of it.

I had a meltdown at lunch today. I work a full-time job in addition to all the writing I do. My lunch hour is spent writing. Today, I just procrastinated. When I couldn’t procrastinate anymore, I just took out a piece of paper and started writing in an effort to see why I was delaying my favorite activity of the day.

I only have 10 minutes to write, so I need to be quick. I was watching a show on my Tapwave, but the batteries are low, so I have 10 minutes to do what I should have been doing in the first place.

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This has been said before. The first time I heard this concept it was from another quote by a famous author:

It’s not as concise and succinct as the Sir Henry Taylor quote, but much more vivid. Six pounds over a year can result in misery. Six pounds under a year and your life is bliss. The big question, however, is, “How do I live a degree below my means?”

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