Quotations Weblog

It’s a hard balance to achieve. How do we keep our independence and still be willing to commit ourselves to others? When is saying yes harmful to ourselves? When is saying no harmful?

I’m a big NO person. I don’t like to commit to anything. I have a hard time committing to choir practice and volunteer work. I even have a hard time committing to dinner engagements. Where do I say yes? Where do I draw the line? The more I say no, the lonlier I get. Without groups like choir or Geek Dinners, I end up feeling isolated and alone in Salt Lake City. I blame the town I live in when in reality, the opportunities were there, I just said no to them.

I’m also a big YES person. I want to take care of your cat while you’re away on vacation. I want to help you freeze 10 gallons of water in my freezer. I want to host a dinner at my house if you’ll come. All of these activities however, eventually wear me down. Not only do I get physically tired. I get tired of people. Mike calls it “peopled-out” and it’s a valid condition. Without alone time, I end up feeling over-stimulated and anti-social. I blame the people, when in reality, it was my fault for saying yes to them.

Where is the line? It’s different for everyone and my line in the sand where I balance between loneliness and over-stimulation is probably different than yours. For me, I am always trying to live in that happy medium where I don’t feel lonely and I don’t feel peopled-out. It’s a hard balance to achieve, but it is possible to keep your independence AND commit yourself to others.