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- It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- New York: A third-rate Babylon.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
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