Articles and Features


Week of April 14, 1997
Apologies (again) for the long stretch of no new quotes. My "real job" demanded my attention. I'm much better now.

On this tuesday, April 15th, those of us in the US will all heave a collective sigh as we send our tax forms and a significant portion of our earthly posessions to the government. (Yes, some of you might have filed already. You probably even get refunds. Stop gloating.)

In honor of this yearly event, I've selected a few quotes that deal with the subject of taxes (and a few that have to do with money in general). I hope this adds a note of levity to what may otherwise be an unpleasant week. Enjoy them while my wife and I frantically work to finish our 1040 form...

P. S. For extra credit, copy one or more of these quotes and enclose them with your tax return. I'm sure a few IRS employees will get a good laugh out of it, after which they'll be fired for having a sense of humor and forced to switch to a career in politics.

"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward."
John Maynard Keynes
"OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes."
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
Herman Wouk
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
Will Rogers
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Will Rogers
"Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
P. J. O'Rourke
"Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have."
Ernest Haskins
"What we should have fought for was representation without taxation."
Sam Levenson, You Don't Have to Be in `Who's Who' to Know What's What
"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money."
Senator Everett Dirksen (1896-1969)
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
Thomas Robert Dewar (1864-1930)
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
e e cummings
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
H. L. Mencken
More about Taxes...
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